Many people are terrified to let go of control and trust the flow. They believe if they’re in control, then they can limit any potential damage. If this doesn’t go where they think it’s meant to go, then they’ve already managed the outcome. They’ve controlled their exposure, and therefore what they’ve risked.

The belief is, if we control everything, then we’re not risking anything. But that really is not the case.

One of my favorite jokes is:

How do you make God laugh?

I don’t know ...

Tell ‘em your plans.

I told this joke to a friend of mine and she said, “God must laugh a lot!”

What I love about this joke is it is such a great reminder that our ideas of how to control situations are irrelevant. There is a divine plan at work and the sooner we stop trying to control it the more ease and enjoyment we’ll experience.

One of the things that feels like control to us is confidence about an outcome. This is easier to feel about things we have experience with, but where we get tripped up is when we need to do things that are new to us. Confidence is about the known.

I’m confident this restaurant has good food. Why? Because I’ve eaten here before. The first time you go to a restaurant, you don’t have any confidence they have good food, but you’re courageous enough to give it a shot. You can go to that restaurant and it’s terrible, but unless you had the courage to walk in the door and give it a shot, you’ll never know for sure.

It’s the same thing with relationships: You need to have the courage to think. “It’s true I haven’t experienced a loving partnership yet, but that’s not going to stop me from being courageous enough to own what I really want and give it a shot.”

Sometimes when you are following your YES the guidance you receive will be to pursue something familiar and confidence will be available to you. There will also be YESES guiding you to do or say or experience something that is new. This is when you must substitute waiting to have confidence before you take action with the courage to give it a chance. Open to the possibility that following this YES could be as good or even better than what you have experienced before.

One of my clients, Jessica, came up with this great term: Funcertainty.

She said, "Funcertainty is what happens when you let go of control, don't give a shit, and trust the Universe."

This is perfect. When you let go of control and trust the Universe to have your back, you turn uncertainty into funcertainty.